thoughts(noun)

2003-05-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

holy cow! havnt blogged for years.....sorry been hooked on Ragnarok Online, gay game is going p2p. o well too many games for me anyway. lets see, oh everyone did great for dragon boat, everyone got medals =D. the giants baseball game was great, got myself some pictures, and i was in the clubhouse while willy mayes was! ohh! cool huh? track all cities is on saturday but im not doing any running =\ i should have though. got a year book today, i think its much better than last years. more colorful and stuff. its been a great sophomore year, but im glad theres only a week left.

2003-04-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

tennis season is over. won two out of my three matches this season. and my last matc was real exciting. it was all city finals and we had to play the number 2 seeded team! gasp! the first set we got our butts wooped 1-6. we started out the second set on a good note winning the first game of that set. 1-0. things went downhill from there, even though each game was close we kept losing, so we lost 4 games in a row =( then on my service we won one game, so its 4-2 now, and we won again, 4-3, and again, 4-4, and again 5-4. cool huh? remember now we're playing the number 2 seeded team. we almost won the next game, but we made one mistake and lost it. 5-5 and we lose 2 more in a row. poor us. so it was game set and match, 1-6, 5-7. well tennis is over now back to track i cant wait!

2003-04-22T20:22:00.000-07:00

yay i feel MUCH better now. i feel kinda silly when reading the last blog though =P. anyways spring break could have never came at a better time =D. i had a great time in LA i hung out with relatives, went to an arcade for 9 hours with two of my favoritist (haha favoritist) cusins, and i even met a really cool girl ;D. hehe she even gave me this great smile, haha probably just trying to be nice, but who knows! she said i was cute too, but enough of that. i went to vegas on the 16th with my two favoritist cusin's family and my family. it was pretty cool down there, and i mean it.......las vegas was NOT hot...haha i was like "wtf?" it was all windy and shit. all we did in vegas was played hella games in an arcade because what else can we do right? not like we can gamble...... -_-. haha man it was kinda lame in vegas though, my cusins mom looked at the watch and said, "its almost 10 we should go back to the hotel" (in viet of course) haha wtf!? she wants us to go to bed at 10!? i go to bed later on weekdays! we're in vegas! and we're on freaking vacation! haha arnt we suppose to stay up till 4 am or something? haha crazy. i ended up going to bed at 11 -_-. overall i had a great spring break, its just good to take a nice long break from school you know? i didnt even do any excersize! haha super relaxed vacation. pretty damn great.

yesterday was a pretty good day. haha no more yellow hair for me! got to see all my friends again and stuff. afterschool i went to this journalism thing in mission, its a program i signed up for. the programs suppose to help us become better sports writers. its like a once a life time opprotunity so i was like what the heck, why not? turns out this is really a ONCE IN A LIFE TIME opprotunity because........... on may 15th we get to go to Pac Bell Park when the San Francisco Giants host the Montreal Expos as reporters! YES YES YES! we get PRESS PASSES and we ACTUALLY get to go INTO the teams LOCKERROOMS and INTERVIEW PLAYERS before AND after the game! too bad im not much of a baseball fan, o well its still pretty damn cool to see Barry Bonds crowded by reporters as they interview him. haha to tell you the truth im kinda nervous im not really sure what im going to write about, havnt found my angle yet. no big deal though i have time to brainstorm and crap like that. havnt blogged in a while so yeah, hope you enjoyed my "interesting" life. adios!, zai jian!, aloha!, later! =D

2003-04-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

shit......i feel like crap. my voice is gone, my body is acheing and everything. this fucking sucks. and rain is falling like theres no tomorrow. im supposed to be rowing for dragon boat, but im at home doing this. i dont even know if the dragon boat meet was canceled or not......it doesnt matter anyway. im going to LA tomorrow anyway. mabye if it stops raining i can go play tennis with ben or something. i dont know what the hell is happening too.....i dont know why she doesnt talk to me no more. man its like i dissapeared. she used to write me cards and always talk to me and stuff. now its like she doesnt even know who i am. is it because she doesnt want to lead me on? i dont even like her. it doesnt make sense anyway. i dont think she really cares about me. it doesnt make sense to not talk to me anymore, all i ever wanted was her to be my friend, and she was a great one. and now we dont even talk. i like to remember all the good moments that we had during xc season and all the other memories, but i always stop to wonder if i will ever have any more moments like those, the one where i laughed and had fun, or when i was feeling like crap and she always cheered me up. maybe i dont even care. mabye i dont need her. mabye i dont needanyone. mabye if i was better at running she would like me more. maybe if i was as good as ben or jeff. maybe im just selfish. maybe im just a weirdo. maybe i should just give up. maybe im over reacting. i dont care....i have good days, its just that when im thinking about her i cant understand why things arent like before. it makes me crazy. if im so good at listening to other peoples problems, and making them feel better, why cant i tell myself that its no big deal, should i tell myself that she probably does care about and im over reacting or should i tell myself who cares about her, i dont want her as a friend anyway. if she cared about me why doesnt she talk to me anymore, and if i dont need her as a friend why am i typing this whole thing about her. like i said it doesnt make sense. I JUST WANT MY FRIEND BACK. i dont want to go to LA with this problem in my head. i dont want her to graduate without it being the way it used to. i dont want to have to cry over her. i just want my friend back. she used to call me her favorite sophomore. and she wrote me this cool christmas card. mabye if i break my arm she will notice me. i think that would work. thats so stupid though, im so selfish. i want everything for myself. and i get jealous when she talks to other people and not me. when i walk by her and she doesnt even say hi. i just want attention. ill die without it. i dont think things will ever go back to the way they were. i know ill get over it, and me and her will probably never talk again. maybe thats just the way its ment to be. maybe when im really old ill be like " oh what ever happened to that girl, that really cool one who i used to always talk to... what was her name again?" mabye ill just wake up one day and forget about her. i used to always talk about her, and how great she was. i have her xc AAA championship tag on my wall. i wonder if she still has mine. we traded them after the all city championships. mabye she just threw it away. she has a picture of me in her room. i wonder if she still has it there. i wonder what she thinks when she looks at it. i wonder when shes gonna take it down. i wonder what shes doing right now. i wonder when im going to die. i wonder if anyone reads this. its still raining. i wonder when its going to stop. i dont like it when people say that noone cares about them, but really a lot of people care about them. isnt that ironic? i try not to be mean because i dont want people to hate me when i die. i do all my sports for no reason. when i leave tomorrow ill be thinking of linda and reading siddhartha, maybe things will get better, mabye ill have a good time in LA. and maybe ill die a good son, a good father, and a good husband. thats my dream.

2003-04-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

haha man im tired. so tired. yesterdays dragon boat practice was pretty damn sucky. haha it was hella cold! and hella windy. i did really bad too =(. i think im sick now this really sucks. o well i still had fun. one more week and its spring break! finally. well i gotta finish my swim aritcle, and think of people to interview for this question, and i gotta study for marine scince. i have nothing else to wright about anyhow. haha later.

2003-04-04T22:07:00.000-08:00

another day, the weather is getting a little better. it was hella cold, but hey at least it didnt rain right!? haha remeber that movie trailer project i told u about earlier? well we finally got to watch everyones. man some people had hella good ones! haha it was so embarassing. out of the 6 groups 2 groups edited their trailers. theirs turned out the best, i really enjoyed watching them and i think they did a really good job! good job =D haha. some people say our trailer was good too, but i wish we could of edited to make it look more polished o well. mei guan xi. so after school i went to watch the swim meet for my article. the f/s championships! haha it was a lot more fun then the last swim meet i went to. even though i still had to stand for about 3 hours, this time i got to talk to people so it was more interesting for me. even though they got 2nd im still really proud of all of them, they really tried hard. haha aprils my hero! ;D. you were really awesome! so anyways its almost spring break! haha do u have any plans? im going to LA on the 13th i think. we were suppose to go on the 12th, but i have a dragon boat meet so i dont wanna miss that. man im suppose to get my Myeep application so i can get a job over the summer, but i cant get it untill the 15th, but im going to be in LA, im coming back on the 18th i think...........hopefully i can still get an application, sandy says she reserved me one anyhow. wow my cousin got back from china and he showed me on his digital camera a whole bunch of shoes, MAN THEY ARE COOL! haha he says he will get me some because his friend is still in china and says he will bring more shoes over. yes! haha so should i go with the red and white ones? black and baby blue? or black and white? iono they're all cool so it doesnt matter! =D well pretty good day overall and good job again april u swam really well, later! ;D

2003-04-03T20:08:00.000-08:00

aww man. i hate it when it rains. so today i got to see the brother hood sister hood assembly, it wasnt that great, but it was still good. mostly did nothing but sleep in classes today. after school me ben and jeff went to check out the track meet. none of us were running. jeff and ben have a really important race tomorrow and i had a tennis match. man i really feel like she doesnt care about me anymore. all we do is say "hi" and stuff. i wish it was the way it was during xc season; when we used to always talk and stuff......now its like she doesnt even notice me.....and that really sucks. it seems like she would rather talk to the other people on the track team then me. i wonder what happen. i wish i could stay on the track team, and i wish i was a really good runner mabye then she would want to talk to me more. i dont get it, ever since valentines dance its like she doesnt want to talk with me. i wonder what happen. and i dunno why but i get really jealus when she laughs and talks to other people. i feel like im nothing. haha man that sucks, its the worse feeling in the world. makes me want to cry =(. so when i got to the tennis courts at GGP (golden gate park) it turns out that i was too late and mission had too little players anyway; so i just went back to watch the track meet. it wasnt too exciting i got to take down times and record stuff, but nothing special. she was there too. we didnt talk much, mabye im just not interesting anymore, mabye shes sick of me. yeah but its stupid to think that. haha and im never going to tell her because i dont want her to think that im some kind of crazy guy who wants hella attention or something. its no big deal, it doesnt phase me! haha. during the middle of the track meet it started to drizzle, then rain started to pour on us. boy was it crazy, i feel sorry for the guys who were running. haha lucky i got a ride from cory and gavin. their mom dropped me off at my house and i for some reason i was thinking "hrmm i wonder what it would be like if their car wouldnt start and they had to hang out for a little while." so i put my sweats on and got a glass of milk, then the door bell rang and it was gavin! their car wouldnt start! i was like "woowowowowowowowow weird......." haha and it was weird. about 20 minutes later after my dad tried to jump start the car with the jumper cables, the car magically started! haha it was a pretty interesting day overall. so i hope all my problems are solved and thats about it, later.

2003-03-31T01:26:00.000-08:00

another nice day.......i wonder how long it will last. today i was suppose to go out with my mom. =( but shes sick so she couldnt go out with me. i hope she feels better so we can hang out. instead i just stayed home, watched tv, and played games. around 3 me and my dad went to play tennis. man i played hella good today! played for 4 hours! but i played good. got home ate a lot of pizza! 6 slices. and thats pretty much it for my day, pretty boring.......but thats okay.

2003-03-29T19:15:00.000-08:00

wow what a nice day huh? haha and i didnt spend the whole day in front of the damn computer like i usually do! =D i woke up at 9:45 and ran to where i get my hair cut. after that i went to dragon boat practice. i think todays practice was really fun! i got to sit all the way in the front! that means everyone has to follow me which is really cool! we got to race against 2 different boats all filled with lincoln people, and we did pretty okay considering we were the noobie boat. after practice some people stayed after to do time trials. i did my trial in a time of 1:54 seconds. i dunno wether thats a good time or bad, but it was hella tiring haha. i gotta get more muscles so i can go faster! oh i saw my old best friend david today at dragon boat practice, he rows for lowell......boooooooo lowell haha. overall i think today was a great day, i hope i have more days like these in the future. you know what i mean, like nice sunny days where i actually go out and do something productive. i feel like i did something today, not just sit at home and play games or something. i cant wait till summer! im not gonna waste my summer like i did last year. im going to be running, learning how to drive (hopefully), mabye get a job and just have fun. im going to be running in the asia games in august. i think that will be really cool, but i gotta start running more before ill be ready for it. i hope im gonna have more chances to run in other races during the summer, and mabye win me one of those shiny medals =D. i have big plans for this summer, i cant wait.

2003-03-28T22:20:00.000-08:00

oh i won my first tennis match yesterday! 6-4, 6-3. yay friday! woo hooo! boy was it hot.....shit my dad wouldnt give me a ride to school -_- so i took the 44 bus, and waited at the 48 stop. i was gonna be late but my friend james saw me and drove me to school. thanks james! hah we finally did that film project. it was more fun then i thought it would be! haha we had this fight scene. haha looks hella cool. and my face is all bloody and bruised! haha and i said it was gonna be lame. the newspaper came out today. i think we did a good job! im glad its a 3 day weekend. i have time to do my hw and hang out with my mom and just sit around the house doing nothing =D yeah at forest hill station i saw my friends friend. we both take the 44. she got on the back door though, and the bus driver kicked her off! i didnt even know she was gonna get kicked off, i just thought that the bus driver was gonna make her go on the front. so the bus kept on going, but i got off a couple stops after, because i felt bad for her, i should have just gotten off when she got kicked off. so i waited for the next bus, but she wasnt on it.......so i was like wtf?! where she go? darn got home like 35 minutes later because of that. o well. i finally finished watching the trigun series. my favorite =D thats it for my day, later.

2003-03-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

sometimes you have to just stop and learn to appreciate things. there are so many wonderful things that we never thought about. even the small things like; how the leaves and branches sway as the wind blows the trees, how the sky looks so much like a beautiful painting that sometimes seems unreal, and even the faces of strangers as they smile while talking to their friends, struggling while trying to get on to a bus, or even plain old sleeping on the bus. i think we have been so blessed with all of our senses. and that we need to learn how to fully use them before we can fully understand and enjoy life, and if you ever feel down, alone, or just out of place, you have to understand that you are not alone, you are not out of place, because people do care for you, people do enjoy being with you and talking with you, and i know this becaues i care for you, i appreciate you, i want to share my life with you, i want you to understand what i understand, so we can appreciate life and all its wonderful things together. mabye your not ready, or mabye you just dont care, but i know that when the time comes i will always be there for you. because thats what friends are for.

2003-03-26T21:31:00.000-08:00

7 to 0. ouch...our tennis team lost pretty bad to lowell yesterday. i feel really bad for them because i know our team shouldnt have lost 7 to 0. sometimes i dont understand the people on our team. it seems like noone even cares. a lot of people think that their so good; and they dont listen to the coach. it really pisses me off knowing that most of the older players who have so much talent dont care about our team, but instead care about themselves only. i know that when i get to be a big part of the team im going to do my best and set a good expample to the younger and less experienced players. anyways today was a pretty okay. haha almost fell asleep in 1st period again. shit i dont know why, but i actually have fun during 2nd period geometry.....oh no...im such a loser. the newspaper will be out soon, its kinda cool after seeing the whole process of how a newspaper is made. i mean its not like u just sit down and wright about crap like some people think. it actually takes hard work, we go out and research, do interviews, then we wright our articles which go through at least 2 rebirths, and then edit the damn newspaper. i thought it would be easy, but designing a page in the newspaper is hella hard. haha you cant just put any thing anywhere. you have to actually think things through and put yourself in the readers position and what would be the most apealing and convienent for them. yup all this crap can be pretty stressfull at times, but since some of us are just youngins we kind of getta just hang out. lol we were taking the "gay test" while the older people were working. im 26% gay! yeah anyways during 3rd period we watched "life is beautiful". everyone seemed to enjoy it, and i hope we get to watch it tomorrow. i think im going to fail my 5th period class......stupid mandirin. haha man that class room is always SO hot inside. damn it was so hot i wanted to take my clothes off! haha bet all the ladies would of liked that. haha.....yeah rite.....haha im such a loser.....during 7th period P.E we got to play inside the gym so it was pretty fun. after school i got my track uniform and went to tennis practice. im pretty glad that i joined the tennis team. i've met a couple really cool people and my tennis game is really improving! =D i kind of regret not being able to run for track though =( , but i know this really cool girl that can make me so happy just by talking to me =D . oh on the way home i saw my good friend sonia on the bus! that was pretty cool, didnt get to talk, but thats okay. well i gotta do hw now, later.

2003-03-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

oh today we played Lowell in tennis. i wasnt there though -_- i wonder how our team did. lets see why didnt i go.....oh thats rite we were supposed to have production night for journalism, but since our advisor had a meeting at 4:00 we could only work untill 4:00. i didnt have much to do so instead i went with ben to his dentist on noriega st. haha turns out ben and jeff have the same dentist, and always have appointments on the same day. heh it was pretty funny, me and ben were waiting in the waiting room, and i saw jeff in the hallway, so i told ben to hide behind the wall so he could pop out and scare jeff, but then one of the dentist's assistants was like " ben hwa? " and ben was like hiding behind the wall, haha well you have to be there to understand exactly...o well it was funny to me and ben. so after the dentist the three of us talked about colleges and stuff, i hope we all end up close to each other so we can still hang out. so we walked back to the 48 bus and took it to mcateer for track practice. out of the three of us only jeff ran because ben already ran and i dont run anymore. when we got to mcateer most of the freshman runners were doing their cooldown lap, the rest of the runners were in the middle of their workouts. the sprinters were working on their starts and relays. man after watching everyone run it makes me wanna run too! damn jeff is so fast. Lowell was there too, and i got to say hi to my friends little sister. hah its the first time i met her and all i said was "hi" and "bye". i wanted to talk to her, but there was no time. i took the 44 home from macateer got home and did my hw. i have this stupid project to do too. its for english. we have to make a movie trailer based on the book "black boy". damn that shits gonna be hella lame! hah everyone was like "oh we get to make our own videos, its gonna be so cool" and then after a couple days everyone finds out how lame its gonna be. haha i find that really odd. well were gonna be filming on thursday and friday hopefully our move trailer wont be crap. thats pretty much it, later.
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2003-03-25T21:50:00.000-08:00

o.Oa hrmmmm, god damn the template thing is confusing me! o well i'll figure it out sooner or later. its only my first time =D